Overboard
by StarfireRocks
Summary: Tessa needs to choose who she truly loves. But she can't think when she is surrounded by both men, so she leaves to clear her head, but after a demon attack everyone is worried that they shall never see Theresa Gray again. NEWLY IMPROVED - AGAIN!


**I know, I know! Improving it, again? Well. I realized that my past improvement still _sucked. _I hope this'll attempt will be better.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own this. I just. . . Ugh. Please. I can't deal with lawsuits. Don't even go there.**

It's been two months since Jem and Tessa's engagement, and the shock has finally worn off for the others. For Tessa as well. Now she can finally think clearly about Jem - and about Will. Does she really love them both the same amount? Can she really make a decision, and rest assured it's the right one? No, not yet. So Tessa has expressed her need to go back to her old home, New York, to Jem. At first he is reluctant, wanting to go with her. But Tessa convinces him that she needs this.

"Please, Jem. I know it is no longer my home, but after everything that has happened, after Nate. . . I must go back," she pleads.

Finally he agrees, but only, he tells her, if she will hurry back to him.

"Of course I will," she promises, and they kiss - brief but sweet. So that is how Charlotte, Henry, Will, Jem, and Tessa end up at the docks on a foggy Thursday evening.

Tessa has said her goodbyes to Sophie at the Institute, with the other girl assuring to pass on a goodbye to Gideon. Now, with ten minutes until it's time to depart, Tessa stands facing her new family.

"I hope you shall return soon, Tessa," Charlotte bids, one hand self-consciously resting on the barely noticeable bulge of her stomach. Tessa smiles warmly at her, remembering that Shadowhunters never say goodbye. Henry nods at her with a smile, before gazing into space with an absentminded look. Tessa isn't bothered with his apparent indifference to her leaving, she knows he's just being Henry, and she shouldn't take it personally. Will wishes her luck in a gruff sort of voice, and she avoids looking at him. He has not been himself lately, and they all know it's because of Cecily. This leaves only Jem, her fiancé. The others leave them their privacy, leaving for the carriage where Cyril is waiting. There is a long silence between them.

"Jem - " Tessa starts, sucking in a breath.

But he quiets her, stepping closer and placing a gentle hand to her cheek. Tessa flits her gaze around nervously. This is not proper behaviour in public! If her Aunt Harriet could see her now she would be terribly disappointed in her. But Tessa forgets about all this as she looks into Jem's silver eyes.

"Jem . . ." she starts again, but loses her train of thought as he moves so close she can count his eyelashes.

"I know you have to go. I can't say that I'm happy about it, but I know you have to do this. Just promise me that you'll come back. Come back, please Theresa Gray," he whispers, removing his hand from her cheek to softly pull her towards him. Tessa feels the breath leave her, rendering her unable to speak for a few seconds.

"You know I will. How could I not? I love you, James Carstairs," she tells him honestly. Jem's eyes light up even further than usual, and he kisses her. But this kiss is different. Where the others have been uncertain and nervous, this one is not. The kiss says what he does not have to. He loves her completely, and soon she will be his, and he will be hers. The warning comes to board the ship. They break apart, both breathless.

"I-I have to go," Tessa says, but she doesn't move. Jem smiles at her.

"Don't worry. I'll still be here when you get back. Because of you, I am stronger. I don't need so much of the _yin fen _anymore. I'll be with you for a while yet," he reassures her.

Tessa throws her arms around him, before quickly grabbing her things and running for the boat, throwing one last glance at him before he's blocked from sight by the crowds of people. She has the strangest feeling that she won't see him again.

_Don't be silly, Tessa! He promised he'd still be here when you return. And you know he will be. Jem doesn't break promises._

But as Tessa is shown to her cabin, she can't shake the foreboding feeling.

* * *

Tessa has been gone for three weeks. Everyday since she left, Jem has felt ever so lonelier. Which is silly, of course. She will be back. Soon, actually. The other day he had gotten a letter from her, telling him she will be getting on the next ship back to England. Everyone had been overjoyed, all having missed her. Will, especially. It confuses Jem, the fact that Will is more open with everyone these days. Like a wall has come down. There was a period of which everyone feared Old Will would return, the one who shut people out. That time had been just over a week from Tessa's departure.

Cecily had left the Institute, having finally spoken to Will about why he left his family. Jem doesn't know the answer, all he knows is that Cecily had stormed out of the drawing room, grabbed her things and left, and Will had walked out of the room pale and quiet. But instead of snapping at everybody's offers of consolation, he had opened up even more.

After the arrival of Tessa's letter, Will has become almost annoyingly happy. When Jem has questioned him about it, Will has just said he needs to apologise to her for something terrible he has said. That is all Jem can get out of him.

* * *

Tessa sits on a narrow bed in her cramped cabin. Her things are stuffed in the corner: two suitcases, one old and shabby looking, the other new and clean. Before she had left, Jem had bought Tessa a new suitcase, despite her protests that she doesn't have enough things to need both. She is excited about going home. She has been away from the Institute, and Jem, for far too long. Twenty-two days, Tessa knows. She would've stayed in New York longer, but she has accomplished what she had been there for. Tessa had needed to sift through her thoughts and feelings. Slowly, she has come to a marvelous revelation. She now knows whom she loves, who she wishes to spend the rest of her life with. And she can't wait to go home and see him.

Tessa stands and walks over to her tiny port window. There's a thin layer of ice covering it, and she knocks against it in an attempt to see out. As the ice drops into the frigid water below, a sigh escapes her. She's impatient to see England, to see _him_. Stubbornly, she presses her eye against the freezing glass and gazes out, hoping to see land. Instead, she sees a horror. "Oh my god," she whispers.

* * *

Now it has been exactly twenty-four days since Tessa has left. Her ship is due to arrive the morning after next, and everyone in the Institute is on pins and needles awaiting her. Jem has trouble sitting still.

"Goodness, if this is how impatient we are today, when there is still two days to go, imagine how terrible we'll be tomorrow," Charlotte mutters.

"Now, Lottie. You know we just want Tessa back. I know you're glad she'll be here soon too," Henry gently reprimands her.

Sophie enters the drawing room with a tray of tea and Gideon following, offering to help. Jem looks over to Will, half expecting a sarcastic remark. None comes.

_How strange. An improvement I must say, _he thinks.

Sophie had tensed when she had seen Will, but now relaxes. During the course of an hour, the five Shadowhunters and Sophie idly chatter, drinking tea and watching the clock, counting down the minutes. Finally, Charlotte deems it an appropriate time for bed. So they all go. It's seven in the evening.

* * *

Tessa pushes her way through the suffocating mass of panicking passengers. Her foot is trodden on several times, and she is elbowed in the ribs more than is healthy, but she doesn't care about that. All she cares about is getting to the railing.

The ship lurches to the right, rolling halfway on its side. Water floods the deck, causing people to slip and slide. Tessa is thrown over the rail, hands slipping as she grabs onto it. She manages to drag herself back over the edge, flopping down onto the ship deck, which is now covered in five inches of water. Several people run past her, and she feels a sharp pain in the back of her head. Tessa loses consciousness.

* * *

As soon as Jem wakes up, he pulls out his violin. He plays a few warm up exercises first. Then, without hardly thinking about it, he plays the same haunting melody he had been playing the first night he had met Tessa. He had thought she was his _parabatai _at first. When he had seen her, dressed in a white nightgown and looking nervous, he had been strangely embarrassed. He hadn't understood why. He had played in front of other people before. Why should this girl be any different? But it _had_ been different. Now Jem knows why. He loves her, and things are always different when you love someone. Just as the melody draws to a close, Jem hears his door open.

"Will?" he says, inwardly smiling at the coincidence. He spins around to see Will standing in the doorway. Jem smiles at him in welcome, but the smile freezes as he gets a clear look of Will's face. "Will? What is it?" he asks anxiously.

"You need to come to the dining room," Will says in a gravelly voice, choking back tears. Silently, Jem stands and they walk out together.

* * *

When Tessa comes to, the ship is deserted. Everyone has gone, onto the lifeboats. They have left her on the ship. The boat is still rocking violently, so she mustn't have been out for long.

Wobbling, Tessa pulls herself up into a standing position, gripping the railing so hard she's amazed it doesn't splinter. Feeling more than slightly sick, she looks out across the endless sea that batters the poor ship. There is no lifeboats or land in sight.

"Hello? Can anybody hear me?" she shouts, voice hoarse. There's a strange sound from behind her, like a carriage gaining speed.

Slowly, Tessa turns. She screams. She screams until her voice breaks, then she screams some more. She screams until she loses her voice, at which point she stops and begins to sob brokenly. All she can do is stare in horror at the enormous wave heading towards the ship. It's easily twice the size of the vessel, and looks as if it can crush it without effort. As the wave closes in on the ship, Tessa grabs for the angel around her neck, but can't find it. She has lost her angel, she notes hopelessly. It's over. She will never go home, to England. Never go back to the Institute. Never see _him_ one last time. So as the wave swallows the ship, Tessa Gray screams the name of the man she loves dearly.

"_JAMES!"_

* * *

The inhabitants of the Institute sit around the table in the dining room, Charlotte next to Henry, holding his hand tightly within her own, Will bent over the table with his head in his hands, and Jem sitting straight backed, eyes watching those at the head of the table carefully. Sophie sits at the head of the table with Gideon, who has papers stacked in front of him.

"Why have you called us in here?" Charlotte asks in a high, strained voice.

Gideon takes a deep breath before saying, "You all heard of the giant wave that struck just off the coast? The one the Clave suspects was caused by demons?"

They all nod cautiously.

"Information just came in that the wave hit a ship."

Everyone's head snaps up as they regard him, hardly breathing.

"There was only two ships scheduled for arrival at that area during the time the wave hit. The _Goner_, and the _Main_."

There is a collective gasp from everyone in the room, excluding Gideon. Tessa's on the _Main_.

Gideon continues gently, "The _Goner _has been accounted for. It was the _Main_ that was hit."

Everyone visibly deflates. Tears are evident in Sophie and Charlotte's eyes. Henry has gone pale, and is opening and closing his mouth like a fish. Will sits rigid, staring straight ahead. Jem grips the table top tightly, clenching his teeth.

"Survivors?" he grounds out.

"They are being brought to the dock this afternoon. There has not yet been a survey of which passengers were able to get off the ship and who were not," Gideon supplies immediately, reading from one of the papers.

Surprisingly it is Henry who says, "We have to go. Tessa must be there." Gideon opens his mouth, but Henry glares at him and says, "Tessa _must _be there." Charlotte nods mutely.

ID

The carriage ride to the docks is a silent one. Gideon and Sophie have stayed behind to watch over the Institute, so it's just Henry, Charlotte, Will and Jem. None of them speak, because no one knows what to say. _It'll be okay?_ What if it isn't._ We'll find her?_ What if they don't. _Tessa made it off the ship?_ What if she hadn't.

When they get there, the docks are jam-packed with people, survivors and hopeful family members alike. The four of them push their way through, stopping at the edge, and glancing over heads, looking for a slightly taller brunette girl.

"'Scuse me? You wouldn't 'appen to know an Alice Fray would ya?" a scruffy looking man asks, reading a name from a grubby paper.

"No," Will says coldly.

"Alright then, what about a Nicole Morgenstern?" the man tries again with another name from the list.

"We do not know any Alice's, nor Nicole's," Charlotte snipes. They are all getting agitated with this persistent man.

"All right, all right. Just one more on th' list now anyway. What about a Theresa, a Theresa Gray?"

They all freeze.

"Theresa Gray?" Jem says quietly.

"Yeah, ya know 'er?" the man asks, eying them.

"Yes," Charlotte confirms faintly.

"Right, then this goes to you," he says, dumping two water-soaked bags in front of them.

"What's this?" Will asks in a steely voice.

"Her bags. Found this, too. Pretty thing, this," the man says, holding up Tessa's tiny angel pendant.

Jem snatches the necklace away from him.

"Where did you get this?" he asks the man, feeling sick.

The man shrugs. "Found it on the ship deck. What was left of the deck anyways." And he saunters off.

They are all stunned, they know Tessa doesn't take the necklace off very often.

"She can still be here. Charlotte, you and I can look over by the entrance. Will, look by the Walk. Jem, why don't you look around the waters edge?" Henry takes charge.

They take off for their assigned posts, leaving Jem standing there. He doesn't even bother to look. If they have found her angel, they aren't going to find Tessa. Jem trudges over to the end of the docks, sitting heavily on a bench and placing his head in his hands. He feels like screaming. He thought, out of the two of them, he would be the one to die first. Not Tessa. It isn't supposed to be like this. Would this have been what Tessa would've felt like if they married and he died, leaving her alone? Oh god, what had he been thinking? It's torture. He has begun to cry, he knows. He can feel his cheeks getting wet.

Faintly, he thinks he hears someone calling his name. Jem stands up and scans the crowd.

"Jem? Jem! Jem -" The voice breaks off into very loud, hacking coughs.

Jem spins around, looking for the source of the voice. There! He sees a girl, taller than the others, yet shorter than him. She's franticly looking around, hand twisting around the air at her throat, as if searching for something that is no longer there. Stormy grey eyes pass over his, and Jem feels his heart stutter.

"Tessa! _Tessa!_" he cries, shoving people out of his way as he rushes towards her. She spins as she hears her name, and her eyes widen when she spots him.

"Jem!" she shouts, throwing herself into his arms. Her hands dig into his shoulders as she clings to him, and his fingers tighten over her waist. She's soaked to the bone and shaking. Tessa's eyes are closed tight as she presses herself as close as she can to Jem, gasping and sobbing at the same time.

"Tessa. Tessa, thank the Angel . . ." Jem murmurs into her hair, almost crying in relief.

A shudder from Tessa forces them apart, and Jem looks at her in concern. Her hair is dripping and knotted. Her clothes are completely soaked and torn. She is extremely pale, almost transparent. Her lips are blue and her eyes hold the look of someone who has lost hope.

Jem places a hand to her cheek, much like when she departed, and nearly yanks it away. "You're freezing," he says, hastily pulling off his jacket and placing it round her shoulders tightly. Tessa shakes her head.

"I-I'm f-fine, just a l-little w-wet is all," she denies. Jem holds her again, then walks her towards the street towards the carriage. He sends Cyril to get the others and helps her into the carriage, sitting close to her to keep her warm.

"Tessa . . ." he whispers.

"Y-Yes?" she stutters, not taking her eyes from him.

"I-I love you. For a moment, I thought you were . . ." he trails off, swallowing painfully.

Tessa lets another shudder pass before saying, "James, when I was on that boat and the wave was coming, all I could think of was you. I love you too, James. With all my heart." Jem stares at her before giving her a small smile.

"You do?"

Tessa nods, then says in a teasing tone, "Though, right now that might just be because of the warmth you give me." She grins at him, and he returns it weakly. He leans down and their lips meet in a kiss that says nothing more than _I love you._

**Oh gosh. . . SO MANY TYPOS WERE IN THIS! I am soooooo ashamed. *shudder* I sincerely hope this is better.**

**When I first read the books, I was all for Tessa/Will, then I read them again and saw sense. Jessa is the best! **

**Reviews are nice. . . **


End file.
